For mange tror fortsatt at et langdistanseforhold ikke kan fungere over tid.
Det er derfor når vi står overfor en slik situasjon, er vi ofte isolerte i vår tilnærming: vår familie og venner kan fraråde oss å fortsette eller råde oss til ikke å involvere oss følelsesmessig for ikke å komme ut med et knust hjerte.
Det er tydelig at det langt fra er enkelt. Det kan jeg garantere deg etter mer enn tre år med internasjonalt langdistanseforhold.
Miles mellom elskere gjør så mange hverdagslige ting mye mer komplisert. Og hvis vi ikke kan akseptere selve naturen til dette forholdet, forårsaker det mye tristhet og ensomhet.
Men ikke alt er svart heller. Denne geografiske avstanden gjør det mulig å sette pris på samspillet mellom hverandre bedre. Vi setter pris på de små tingene som gjør at vi kan fortsette å leve et ekte ektepar til tross for kilometerne.
For å hjelpe deg å leve gjennom denne prøvelsen, har jeg i denne artikkelen utarbeidet en liste over 19 av de beste tipsene om langdistanseforhold du kan finne for å ha en vellykket LDR.
1. Se din LDR som en mulighet
Et langdistanseforhold er en stor sjanse til å bli bedre kjent med deg selv og partneren din. Det er en test for både paret ditt, partneren din og deg selv.
Men først må du innse at et langdistanseforhold bringer deg nærmere. Det skiller deg ikke.
Because if you can bring a happy ending to this experience, then you will come out stronger and more united than ever. Trust me.
2. Establish strong rules
You both need to be extremely clear about what you expect from each other in your long distance relationship.
Define as soon as possible basic rules that no one should transgress so as not to have a bad surprise.
For example, is this relationship exclusive? Is it OK to go out with people of the opposite sex? It is better that you are both on the same wavelength before going any further.
3. Trust your partner
Being away from someone we love can cause us to feel insecure at times. Despite our love, we can have doubts.
The truth is that at this point you have two possibilities: you can either continuously doubt your partner (because you can never be sure of anything anyway) or you can trust him or her entirely and live a fulfilling and healthy relationship.
Unless your partner has given you a good reason not to trust him or her, go for the second option and trust him or her 100%.
4. Communicate regularly and intelligently
In addition to saying “good morning†and “good night†to your partner every day, you need to keep your partner informed of what is going on in your life, although some things may seem somewhat superficial.
Do not hesitate to be creative to capture the attention of your partner by sharing images, messages or many short videos from time to time.
By multiplying your efforts, you will show him/her that she/he is loved and important.
5. Be careful not to communicate too much
Despite the distance, you do not need to talk 15 hours a day to advance your relationship.
Live your life, let your partner breathe, putting aside your potential possessiveness. Contrary to what one can think, you do not need that much to compensate for the physical absence through communication.
That’s not how it works. Otherwise, you will quickly lose patience. Communicate frequently, but rather than basing everything on it, bring a little variety into your interactions (activities, gifts, appointments, etc.). It’s more about quality than quantity.
6. Do not neglect the sexual desires in your relationship
Sexual desire is by far one of the most important aspects of any couple. Often, sexuality is a reflection of the couple’s health.
However, in our case, we do not just talk about “physical†sex, because despite the distance you can also take care of your partner’s sexual desire on a more emotional or “virtual†level.
It can be though sexts, suggestive pictures or even the use of long-distance sex toys, as I mention in this article.
7. Do not take unnecessary risks
When you know that you are going to do something “risky†for your couple (for example going out with your friends in the evening to go drinking and dancing), then you should either not do it or tell your partner to reassure him/her.
Do not be insensitive to this because your partner will be either suspicious or extremely worried about you. For him/her, you put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation for your couple where he/she has no control.
So, be aware of the potential “danger†waiting for you and stay open to your partner’s objections.
8. Do things together
Watch a documentary or a movie together, sing together, play a video game online, shop together, cook and eat together, etc.
The only limit is your imagination. If you do not know what to do, just ask yourself what you would do now if your partner were with you.
There is a good chance that you can do it in a certain way despite the distance. Amazing!
9. Share your hobbies
Recommend books, programs, films, artists and websites you like!
In this way, by reading, listening and watching the same works and contents, you will have many more topics to discuss together during your conversations.
It’s a great way to share common experiences while you’re physically apart.
10. Meet as often as possible
Reunion is certainly the best moment in a long distance relationship.
After weeks or months of waiting, you finally have the opportunity to see each other and enjoy all the little things that “normal†couples forget to appreciate: kisses, hugs, holding hands, etc.
These are crucial moments to recharge your couple’s batteries and start over several weeks or months of long distance couple life, so grab every chance you have to see your partner!
11. Have a goal in mind
How long will you stay in a long distance relationship? What do you want to do next? How are you going to accomplish that?
Here are some questions you should answer together. The truth is that no couple can stay in a long distance relationship forever. Sooner or later it will be necessary to go ahead and live together. Otherwise, it will become unbearable to continue like that.
Therefore, have a clear plan for that. What is your goal? What are the different steps? You both must keep that in mind if one day, you want to end this LDR.
12. Enjoy your LDR life
It is not because you are alone that you have to mope and lock yourself home.
Not everything revolves around your partner and your long distance relationship. You always have your family, your friends, your own goals, and your passions.
Take time to do more things with people you like, to discover new activities, to advance towards your dreams or to simply live enjoy a healthier life. Many things do not depend on your LDR, so take advantage of being alone to do what you really want.
13. Be honest with each other
Speak regularly with your partner about your fears, insecurities, jealousy, doubts, etc.
If you try to hide anything, then this secret will come back later and not necessarily in a very pleasant way.
Do not try to confront everything yourself. Be open and honest in your relationship. Let your partner help and support you if you need it. It is better to talk about it too soon rather than too late.
14. Learn to control your jealousy
It is not uncommon for a LDR to experience jealousy from time to time for people of the same sex with whom your partner is interacting.
Unfortunately, uncontrolled jealousy combining both possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and doubts can give an explosive mixture for your relationship.
If you sometimes feel this, learn how to control your jealousy before it controls you. This is not something easy, but it is something possible.
15. Sync your calendars
In a long distance relationship, it is extremely interesting to know your partner’s schedule to find out when he/she is busy or free. In this way, you know when you can send a message or call, rather than disturbing him/her at the wrong time (class, exam, work, meeting, etc.).
Also try to find out what are the coming small and big events in his schedule (trips, exams, interviews, activities, etc.). This is particularly important to know if you live in different time zones so that you can plan better.
16. Give him/her a special gift
Whether it is a pendant, a ring, a perfume or a plush, nothing beats a personal gift that your partner can keep close to remember you.
In short, choose something strong and personal enough so that your partner does not feel alone in its company.
17. Be optimistic
The fact is that in such a situation you have no other choice if you want to have a successful LDR.
It is obvious that the wait will be painful and that you will often feel lonely, but you need to remember that if you do all this, it is because the fruit of this adventure is worth it.
Be grateful to your partner. Be thankful every day for this relationship and love that are so valuable.
18. Talk about your families and friends to each other
Despite the distance, your goal is to be part of the same family and share the same everyday life.
It means that you can start today by sharing more about the people who fill your life, like your friends and your families.
In this way, you will learn more about the people who are dear to your partner and vice versa. In short, you will gradually build an expanded definition of what your “family†and your “comfort zone†are.
19. Skype as much as possible
Når det gjelder langdistansekommunikasjon, er det ingenting som overgår i dag muligheten til å kommunisere med partneren din ved hjelp av video.
Du må se partneren din og partneren din trenger å se deg hver dag , så installer Skype på datamaskinen og på mobiltelefonen din for gratis videochat, og gjør det til en vane å bruke det.
